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Jokes & Trivia

Victor Borge told a friend that he could tell time by his piano. His friend was incredulous, so Borge volunteered to demonstrate. He pounded out a crashing march. Immediately there came a banging on the wall and a shrill voice screamed, "Stop that noise. Don't you know it's 1:30 in the morning?"


"I'm ashamed of the way we live," a wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed." The husband rolled over on the couch. "You should be ashamed," he agreed. "Your two worthless brothers never give us a cent."


A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.
 
He asked her about it.
 
"This is the Klopman diamond," she said.  "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
 
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
 
"Mr. Klopman."

Southern Accents Are the Sexiest!
Southern accents may be the sexiest, but Boston accents are the smartest. Those are two of the results of a survey conducted for Hyundai Motor America to help launce its new car, the Accent.

Three-Colored Cats Are Almost Always Female?
This is true. Years and years ago, P.T. Barnum offered $1,000 for a male three-colored cat. He never got one.

Calvin Klein Obsession for Ocelets?
DALLAS (Reuters) -- Dallas Zoo researchers looking for ways to save the ocelot by encouraging the endangered cats to breed have found a scent that drives them wild -- Calvin Klein Obsession for Men cologne.  Four female ocelots in captivity reacted more powerfully to the cologne than to natural odors tested in a project aimed at using scents to guide ocelots to each other in the wild, Dallas Zoo research curator Dr Cynthia Bennett said.


A Girl Once Struck Out Babe Ruth?
It was only an exhibition game, but in Chattanooga, Tennessee, in 1931, seventeen-year old pitcher, Virnie Beatrice "Jackie" Mitchell, struck out Babe Ruth and then Lou Gehrig. Both Ruth and Gehrig asserted that the strikeouts were strictly on the level.

Baseball is Good for Marriages?
According to a study by the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver, it seems that cities with major-league baseball teams have a divorce rate 23 percent lower than cities without teams.

Knowledge In Relation of Man & Wife (1834)...
1. In law the husband and wife are considered as one person.
2. The wife cannot sue in her own name.
3. All contracts made between them before marriage are dissolved upon that event.
4. Upon marriage, the husband becomes possessed of all right and title to her property.
5. All debts due to the wife become, after marriage, the property of the husband.

 

"Y'all come back, now."

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmm... What do you think about that, ladies?